In Process, I include three drafts of my 1st essay, 2nd essay, 3rd essay, and 4th essay–with Professor Walker’s evaluations–as evidence.

Critical reading, public speaking, and formal writing are the main components of this course that have improved my abilities with the help of Group Led Discussions and essays.

The Group Led Discussions have improved both my critical reading and public speaking skills. By introducing the reading material in class discussions, a welcoming, thought-provoking atmosphere is created. If there are unclear areas in the reading, I can rely on others to share their thoughts and ideas, shaping my understanding and giving insight on the text. This has greatly enhanced my comprehension and communication skills. For public speaking, the routine presentations have eased my concerns. The process of summarizing and dissecting text has become much more enjoyable.

My abilities to compare, contrast, and synthesize academic materials have progressed at a steady rate throughout this course as well. During the first week, we each wrote in-class diagnostics that were traded and peer-edited, an activity I usually dislike. However, the critiques I received were helpful in the process of crafting my final draft (viewable under “Diagnostic Essay”). The consistent revising for each assigned essay has tremendously improved my work, also all viewable on this page. In addition, Professor Walker’s extensive evaluations posted on the final drafts are hugely beneficial and appreciated because of the detailed reasoning for grades given.

Scanned Diagnostic Essay
Diagnostic Essay

In Cold Blood Essay: First Draft
In Cold Blood Essay: Second Draft
In Cold Blood essay: Final Draft (PDF)

Essay #2: First Draft
Essay #2: Second Draft
Essay #2: Final Draft

Essay #3: First Draft
Essay #3: Second Draft
Essay #3: Final Draft

Essay #4: Outline
Essay #4: Second Draft
Essay #4: Final Draft

6 thoughts on “Process

  1. Good work. You handed in, Essay 1, at a length of roughly 1000 words, on February 13. You need to use pdf format, rather than word. I can see two drafts in the process section of your portfolio. Before the end of semester do upload a third draft, and make sure all materials are in pdf. Before I give you feedback I will give you a chance to re-submit your work. Please load your final essay in pdf format before Thursday so it can be included in your midterm grade.

    In your collaboration section you noted the students on whose work you blogged. Good work.

    Please do seek me out in office hours if you would like additional feedback.


  2. Essay 1: In Cold Blood: Perspective and primary source material

    Good work. You handed in Essay 1 at a length of roughly 1000 words. You used the pdf format and I can see three drafts in the process section of your portfolio.

    In your collaboration section you also noted the students on whose work you blogged. Good work.

    Your final included some critical thinking on “perspective” on the topic of:
    • narrative analysis

    The final essay you hand in will include the following formal components:
    • introduction and conclusion paragraphs that include the main points of your essay and strong thesis sentences
    o keep moving toward this
    • thesis sentences which relay the same information, though in different syntax
    o these need to sync up, you want them to be explicitly similar
    o your next step will be to also integrate into this thesis some of that which attracts you to write about this, some of that which makes it vibrant for you
    • topic sentences which describe the main points of their paragraphs
    o keep working toward clear and direct language. Where your ideas are complex, simple expression of them often serves best to make those ideas intelligible
    o keep thinking about these as ways to direct your reader along your thoughts
    o keep thinking about how to strengthen and clarify these sentences
    • clear language conveying your thoughts directly
    o keep working at the paramedic method, and with handouts and peer editing, you will improve through line-editing we will practice in class
    o focus on trimming repetitions from your language, then expanding it by increased specificity
    • MLA formatting (please see
    o strong
    • at least six primary source quotations
    o good
    • sources notated via in-text citations and a works cited list, both in MLA format (please see and You can look to the bar on the left side of these pages for additional detail on each topic
    o small revision needed to works cited list: add media
    o small revision needed to in-text citations. Look over the above website again. You sometimes use in-text citation in the middle of a sentence where I believe it should be at the end. Also, you sometimes include a comma in the quotation where they should not be any punctuation. Also check for Additional Punctuation Rules when Using Quotation Marks

    Your grade for essay 1 is: B+

    As technical difficulties where at the root of my receiving many essays late this time there is no grade deduction. For the next essay there will be a grade reduction if your essay is not posted in pdf format in your craft section before class on March 12.

    Please do let me remind you that each essay needs three rough drafts in your process section, and one final in your craft section. All materials in your portfolio need to be in pdf format. If you have any in any other format please change them to pdf.

    Your ideas are quite strong. Let them develop more, and keep working on syntax so that the language carries the full freight of your ideas.

    Please do come to see me in office hours if you would like additional feedback.



  3. Response to essay two:

    As stated on page five of your syllabus: “grades will be handed back within two weeks of any assignment’s hand-in date. There will be three written evaluations that will examine your progress through the semester.” The first in-depth written evaluation included comments on your webpage creation and assessment. The second included detailed feedback on essay one, as well as other pertinent class participation. Your next detailed written evaluation will include comments your next essay.

    In class we went over all elements this essay required carefully, engaging in workshops and peer editing around each point mentioned in the rubric. Your grade for this essay is B+. If you would like more specific comments, please do come by office hours. Making an appointment will ensure that there is time set aside for you on the day you would like to come in.



  4. This third written response will consider your third essay and your progress through the semester, noting areas on which you might focus as you complete your final portfolio.

    • I see that some drafts of all of your cover letters, and of your introduction, are uploaded
    • I see that you still need to upload evidence
    o and at this time have some of it up
    • for visual clarity
    o include links (to those on whose work you replied) in your collaboration section
    • additionally
    o your blog entries are particularly strong

    Essay 3:
    • this response will focus primarily on clarity of writing as these tips will be of most help for you as you complete editing your cover letters and essay 4
    • do not use the punctuation before the quote unless you have to. For example
    a visit to Tiffany’s, where ‘nothing bad could happen,’ (Time Magazine).
    should read
    a visit to Tiffany’s, where ‘nothing bad could happen’ (Time Magazine).
    o make sure you italicize all titles, including in the title and in the works cited list. Underlines are no longer used
    o please review the website for MLA in-text citation (
    o please note that the in-text citation refers to the first notation in the works cited list
    o keep working on creating clear sentence structure by being attentive to reducing redundancy and increasing specificity. As you revise for one syntactic element, you will notice other revisions come to mind that will help you to make your sentences clearer
    o one way to work toward clearer syntax is to double check that you have explained your ideas before moving on to the next thought. When you do this more, you will be filling up the space you create from reducing redundancies.
    o to clarify your writing and thinking, keep working with the paramedic method:
    • Grade: A-

    As always, if you would like more feedback please do seek me out in office hours. You have done a good job through this semester! Keep the energy going, we are almost there!



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